The Rhonda Marie Part 1: Rejection/Reflection

Hey everyone...

So I'm really back this time. Before I bear my soul, here's a little housekeeping to clarify:

I have two blogs: rhondamariebynum.blogspot.com and this one Sole Diamond. The rhondamariebynum blog is more like a website for me until I can get together the real one (gotta make that $$ folks.) It will cover basic updates on my career, booked gigs, classes, and in a nutshell "the professional side." This one (Sole Diamond) will cover reflections on my artistic life, venting, and just plain 'ol me (no filter.) PLEASE FOLLOW BOTH if you can. I recently discovered that people are reading these blogs and I don't even know it :(. I love to hear that people are following me on my journey. Thanks to all that have been reading Sole Diamond since last May.

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Now to the nitty gritty.

I was gone for a while because from December 2009 until now I have truly plunged into the life of being a working actor and to my surprise...it is WAAAAAY harder than I thought. I have done everything from no-pay indie films, to my first non-union commercials, to big deal auditions and callbacks at Chicago's best equity theatres, and starring in a hit play . In the past year I have auditioned more than I ever have in my entire life. I've also dealt with the dreariest but most common part of an actor's career: REJECTION! REJECTION SUCKS! I'll say it one more time: REJECTION SUUUUUCKS! But, after a long theatre audition season and auditioning for over 20 commercials (I'm estimating)...I had to learn that this was a part of the damn job. Bottom line. Gotta learn how to deal with it. Much easier said than done, I know. However, I must say through this experience I learned so much more about myself as an artist and myself as a person. Through rejection I've learned:

1) Every audition is an audition for possibilities, not necessarily an audition for one job. I may not get this show but boy oh boy, have I've been called in for many shows and booked commercial/industrial work from one audition. As my girl D.S. would say "don't sleep!"

2) Just because I don't get the part doesn't mean I suck! I often felt so distraught when I wasn't cast for something that it ruined my whole week. Sometimes it has NOTHING to do with me. Sometimes it's political, sometimes it's "I'm not tall enough," or too "urban" or typically "not urban enough" or "too young." Those are things I have no control over. Can't beat myself up about it. I must realize that what is meant for ME is meant for me.

3) What is most important to focus on is having a GOOD audition because (see #1.) I had (what I thought) a horrible audition at this one theatre and I cried the whole day and the day after because I was SO sure that I was SO prepared. Two weeks later, the casting director called me in to be a reader and to audition for his next project as well as another project a few months later.

4) I have to keep auditioning no matter what. If I in fact do get rejected, I must know that the next audition is right around the corner so I can't let my Debbie Downer dismay (I'm studying Shakespeare folks, gotta throw that alliteration in, lol) get in the way of my next opportunity. As the great Alexandra Billings says "that moment happened, that moment's gone." Gotta keep it moving.

5) Most importantly, I must reflect on these experiences and then leave them alone. After every audition, I have to think...hmmm...what was great about it? What could have been better? Then I must remember the words of Ms. Billings and keep it...(you know the rest).

After all of that reflection...(after all that rejection), I have come to so many conclusions about my life as an artist. I have quite a bit of plans brewing so stay tuned. The biggest conclusion is: I am an artist. I am working, living, and breathing in my art. Never before have I felt more connected to the real me...and it feels SO GOOD!

Rhonda Marie