Insomnia

Hey,

I haven't written in a few days. I realized after the last blog that daily writings may be difficult to commit to at times.

It is 4:35 a.m. and I need to get up in two hours. I woke up about an hour and a half ago. Since I am not the person that can easily go back to sleep, I decided to read one of the plays for class ("All my Sons" by Arthur Miller). Finished it.

In a week and a half, School at Steppenwolf has been such a liberating and life changing experience. But it has been tough. This first trimester all of our classes are teaching us the foundations of each particular technique. In doing this, it forces us to be honest with each other and ourselves which can be a very scary place. We have all had our crying moments, and our heads are all ready all messed up. But in a good way. Little do we realize all the things we do to cover up what is really there. At Meisner class, I got some good stuff out on Friday, and maybe a little today. Improv has been challenging up until Monday, when Sheldon Patinkin explained concepts a bit better. Yesterday in Viewpoints, we did an activity called sourcework...we had to answer all of these questions about ourselves...from surface stuff like "my top five actors are..." to "more than anything else in this world..." There were about 15 questions...after we were done we had to read them out loud...whoa. It was very hard for people to expose themselves to 28 individuals, so as you may have expected, at least half the group had a weepy moment when they had their turn. (I did not). The last couple days, my energy has been weird and I don't know why.

But I have a clue: I think it may be because I have "quietly as kept" had a major life change in the last week and a half and I've been swept into a whole new world. As one of my classmates told me, my whole paradigm (or way of thinking) has shifted. Now I am in an entirely new mental place and I haven't stopped to "smell the roses." So...in short I think I am all overwhelmed in the brain but I am gonna figure some things out this week. Yeah. That's it.

R. Marie