- Me, 2006, 20 lbs heavier (another story for another day:)
Wow! I can't believe that 2009 is over. Honestly, folks, most years go by fast, but this year was on crack! The last four months have been kinda tough for me. Coming off that artistic high from School at Steppenwolf, getting cast in a commercial and signing with an agent made me feel like I was on top of the world. What came after, however, was lots of auditioning without lots of casting. I started to get anxious, depressed, and discouraged. I began the dangerous route of comparing myself to my peers and downing myself. Well, in 2010, that way of thinking and life will CHANGE! I have begun a fabulous program called "The Artist's Way" that allows a person to recconnect with thier inner artist, a spritual path to higher creativity. I have only been doing it for a few days but I reccomend it to anyone. I'll share more about that in another blog.
What motivated me to write at 6:30 in the morning was that I caught myself falling into some of the same patterns this morning. When I was discouraged about not being cast, I would google all the female actors my age and imdb them and look at what they have done to succeed. I would also facebook my more direct peers to see what shows they are working on and projects they are doing just to feel bad that I wasn't doing what they are doing. How unhealthy! This morning I caught myself doing the same thing. I know BETTER. Everyone's journey is different, I can't compare where I am in my artistic journey to another person's. It's not fair to me, or my inner artist. I need to do the things that will nurture my inner artist instead. The first of these steps today is to look at how far I've come.
In 2002, I realized I missed the artist in me, and I decided to audition for plays. I auditioned quite a bit, but was not cast for much. Three-and-a-half years ago, I moved back to Chicago after pursuing my Master's degree. In January of that year I decided I would begin going back to my passion after a two-year hiatus during grad school. With minimal training (two college level acting courses) , I began getting cast in small community theater projects.
Wow! I can't believe that 2009 is over. Honestly, folks, most years go by fast, but this year was on crack! The last four months have been kinda tough for me. Coming off that artistic high from School at Steppenwolf, getting cast in a commercial and signing with an agent made me feel like I was on top of the world. What came after, however, was lots of auditioning without lots of casting. I started to get anxious, depressed, and discouraged. I began the dangerous route of comparing myself to my peers and downing myself. Well, in 2010, that way of thinking and life will CHANGE! I have begun a fabulous program called "The Artist's Way" that allows a person to recconnect with thier inner artist, a spritual path to higher creativity. I have only been doing it for a few days but I reccomend it to anyone. I'll share more about that in another blog.
What motivated me to write at 6:30 in the morning was that I caught myself falling into some of the same patterns this morning. When I was discouraged about not being cast, I would google all the female actors my age and imdb them and look at what they have done to succeed. I would also facebook my more direct peers to see what shows they are working on and projects they are doing just to feel bad that I wasn't doing what they are doing. How unhealthy! This morning I caught myself doing the same thing. I know BETTER. Everyone's journey is different, I can't compare where I am in my artistic journey to another person's. It's not fair to me, or my inner artist. I need to do the things that will nurture my inner artist instead. The first of these steps today is to look at how far I've come.
In 2002, I realized I missed the artist in me, and I decided to audition for plays. I auditioned quite a bit, but was not cast for much. Three-and-a-half years ago, I moved back to Chicago after pursuing my Master's degree. In January of that year I decided I would begin going back to my passion after a two-year hiatus during grad school. With minimal training (two college level acting courses) , I began getting cast in small community theater projects.
When I moved back I began to get cast in shows, scoring my first professional show at 
ETA, then another, then auditioning for some of the biggest theatres in Chicago, then understudying at an Equity Theater, then another ETA show, then a play festival, then School at Steppenwolf, a commercial...(if you've been following you know the resume:) Through writing this, I realized...HEY! This is quite a nice list of accomplishments for that shy "only child" full of imagination but too afraid to share it. I have come so far! Ten years ago, when I was in Dreamgirls in high chool, I never would have imagined that I would be able to do all of the work that I am doing now. That I would do Shakespeare and Chekhov. That the casting directors of the top theatres in Chicago would know my NAME. That I will soon be seen on 
national television! This summer was very humbling in that it allowed me to realize where I am in my process, and I still have a long way to go. But knowing that should not take away from how far I've come. It reminds me of what I am capable of, and although some would say I'm just beginning, I've already made an amazing start.
R. Marie
ETA, then another, then auditioning for some of the biggest theatres in Chicago, then understudying at an Equity Theater, then another ETA show, then a play festival, then School at Steppenwolf, a commercial...(if you've been following you know the resume:) Through writing this, I realized...HEY! This is quite a nice list of accomplishments for that shy "only child" full of imagination but too afraid to share it. I have come so far! Ten years ago, when I was in Dreamgirls in high chool, I never would have imagined that I would be able to do all of the work that I am doing now. That I would do Shakespeare and Chekhov. That the casting directors of the top theatres in Chicago would know my NAME. That I will soon be seen on 
national television! This summer was very humbling in that it allowed me to realize where I am in my process, and I still have a long way to go. But knowing that should not take away from how far I've come. It reminds me of what I am capable of, and although some would say I'm just beginning, I've already made an amazing start.R. Marie
(Great timing, digestive tract!) To not have that "look" on my face (y'all know the one) during the audition, I do what I must do. I stop at the restaurant across the street and handle it. AAAH! So I'm better now, and I walk up the stairs to the audition area and I see the typical audition setup. For you non-thespians, this is how these things go. There is an actual audition room, and outside of the room there is a "monitor". The "monitor" is usually an intern or stage manager that takes your name and checks you in. Around the room are several actors...whose behavior can be fun to watch if you have time to check them out. There are some actors sitting on the floor, practicing breathing exercises, others pacing around, stretching, a few sitting stoic and staring into space, some doing vocal warmups, and a couple who try to avoid all eye contact with anyone, and many mouthing the words of their monologues. I have been all of these people at one point. Today, I just wanted to kind of "do my thing" and go. I quickly glanced to see any familiar faces and also, as a person of color, most of us always do the "am I the only black person/person of color" check? (at this specific time I was, which was no biggie, just made a mental note.) I went to the bathroom, practiced my signature monologue quickly once, and stood next to the audition room door ready to go. I was next, or "on deck" as they say. The monitor called my name to go in and there were about 7 -8 people in the room. Typically, when actors do a general audition they are required to perform 1-2 monologues and or a song if it is a musical audition. Before you begin your monologue, traditional training says that you SLATE, or say your name, the name of the character you are performing, and the name of the play. Although this was not a super nervous audition day, some nervousness always jumps up in me when they call my name. ALWAYS. So I often goof up my slate. To not look nervous, (although it happens anyway), I always give a big 'ol R. Marie smile, twinkle/buck my eyes and try to be cheery and personable. Then I forget to tell them my damn name or my piece. I make stupid conversation like "hey, wow so many people here," or do a Tanisha move "Haaay, how ya'll doin, " 
or shake everyone's hand taking up all their time (most auditions are less than 2 minutes and are timed.) And then I do one of the biggest audition goofs, which is walk right up to them and stand in their faces and they always tell me "back up, so we can see you hun" (fyi, in my School at Steppenwolf Audition, when I was doing a scene with the reader, I moved my chair towards him. Erica Daniels, Casting Director at Steppenwolf was like "No stay. He will move to sit close to you, it's about YOU GIRL!"...she is the best!) I like to think of my self as loveably awkward, and sometimes it tends to work to my advantage (exaggerated wink). 
This time, I walked in saying my name..."hi, I'm Rhonda" and said "I'll be performing 'Shelly' from 'Heat'" I moved my chair forward (just a little bit), then I did my thing. They smiled and said "Thank you, Rhonda". As I was walking out, one of the directors said, "hey Rhonda, how tall are you?" "Five-five...and a half" (wink/smile) I said. They chuckled softly, I smiled and I left out...right out the door of the theatre ( I saw a sister walk in when I was leaving and gave the her the "smile" which is the female version of "the nod.") I don't like to linger around and ponder "what did i do wrong, what did I mess up?" I thought, hey...love it or hate it...I did my best. This is what I do...now I can only hope "they" will give me a chance;) On to the next!
